Your Best Friend

I love you so much.

I've never been the type of person who clicks instantaneously with people. I've always been shy, and reserved. Keeping my musings to myself. The fateful day where I met you (via Myspace) felt incredible. We watched the same type of shows, had the same profile songs, and it seemed as though we had the same type of humor.

You were my best friend since 2006. The day I met you, I was like "holyshittitsballs" you were the most amazing person I've ever met. You had everything I've ever wanted in a person, and so much more. It wasn't long until I fell in love with your humor, your wit.

We were an amazing duo together. Making horrible jokes that only we understood, and confused everyone around us.

I fell in love with my best friend, and you love me back.

I guess this'll force me to write...

I’m gonna write you a letter…
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Someone who always makes you happy
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Yourself at 13
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The artist who has influenced you most.
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

I don't miss you yet/

My day was quite uneventful, I went to borders, read some comics, got two books. I went to Walmart bought Avatar, and I'm currently watching it.
The romances and beauties in this movie are glorious."She talks about a network of energy that flows through all living things, and someday we'll have to give it back." The visuals are beautiful: floating mountains, glowing light patterns, natural beauty. The way two 'people' fall in love, unexpectedly. Although this movie is definitely not the greatest of the century, one cannot deny the creativity that went into this movie. New language, new type of people, new culture, but with the root that all beings can love, and feel. The art of choosing a person and that person choosing you, the connection between nature and spirit, is something that's been rooted into our souls, and this movie brings that to life, so to speak.

Something I would have liked to have told you today: the first song that appeared on my iPod today was Everything We Had- The Academy Is... A couple of days ago you mentioned this song. "It's truly a beautiful song" the whole time when you were trying to explain to me how deep and sultry the song is, I was thinking "do you remember?" one day, way back when, we were in my kitchen, and this song came on. I looked at you with a sad expression because this song always saddened me. You smiled at me, and took my hand and we (I hesitatingly) started slow-dancing in my kitchen while I whispered the words of this sad song in your ear. After a couple of years, things between us started becoming different, so many mistakes, and fights got in between us, and we haven't had moments like this. For that very reason I skipped this song every time it came on my iPod. I've learned that I do that. A song reminds me of you, and I'm mad? Skip. A song reminds me of your ex girlfriend? Skip skip skip. Songs have the ability to take me back to a certain place or person, and for that reason I miss out on songs that I like. I don't know what to make of this. All I know is I don't miss you yet, but I do think of you a lot.

Departing of ways

April 29th, 9:03 p.m.
Me: Are you mad at me?
C: Nah, I don't want to talk though.
Me: Okay, Sunday?
C: Nah, I don't want to talk for a while. Give me a week.
Me: Um, why?
C: I'll burst if we talk one more time.
Me: In a bad way?
C: Yeah.
Me: Did I do something?
C: Nah, its me.
Me: Okay, well, how about I give you today, tomorrow, and the weekend?
Is that enough?
C: not at all. I need a lot.
Me: Are we good? I mean should I be worried?
C: Yeah, leave me alone.
Me: Okay, good night.

And that was that. I didn't fight, I didn't yell, I didn't even twitch.
Right after that I fell asleep.
That was nearly 12 hours ago, and only now questions are arising in my head, why now? Why when we're finally in a relationship again? I'm trying not to be a big-weirdo-creep. I'm trying not to think about it too much. So much that I break, and end up texting him or something. Thus why this idea popped in my head: why not have an outlet? Everyday that he's gone, I'll just update this. It puts my thoughts and ideas into perspective, and I honestly do need that.
One of the moments I would have liked to talk to C about today: I was watching Spiderman, and the infamous scene where Mary Jane and Spiderman kiss upside-down reminded me of the day where we were driving back from Loews. I had my head on your lap (as-per-usual) and the car was rocking back and forth due to the bumps on the highway, your left arm was braiding and un-braiding my hair (you were always the only one I let touch my hair), your right arm was holding my hand, and every so often rubbed my arm when I felt a chill. I felt you looking at me, and I looked back, and we kissed just how Mary Jane Watson and Peter Parker did after he saved her life, that one rainy night. And after that day, the feeling we both felt, the electricity surging through our bodies, became a favorable topic between us. I'd forgotten about that. That shows how different we are, three years later.

Something that keeps my insecurities in check: "I know you probably don't believe me, but I need you just as much as you need me, if not more."

Gabriel Iglesias.

Yesterday, i had the pleasure of seeing Gabriel Iglesias live.

The day started off with a couple of my good friends and I going to Morristown, New Jersey. My mom and I used to make a daily commute to Morristown for food, or the bank, so I'm pretty familiar with the town. We walked a few blocks from the Mayo Center for Performing Arts and ate at Burger King. Mind you, we were dressed like we were going to a cocktail party, and there we were, scarfing down double quarter pounders.

After the heavy dinner, we walked to the park were I spent so many childhood days, running around while my mom was talking on her cell phone.

The park was double as beautiful as I remembered. We laid on the grass, sipping ice teas, and taking in the sun and wonderful breeze.

Around 7:20, we headed back to the theater, and waited until the doors opened. We found our seats (row O, in the Orchestra) As the theater started getting more and more packed, I became more and more excited. The show was sold out, and there were people of ALL ages there.

The host was Martin Moreno, and there were 4 opening acts, but the one I enjoyed the most was Noe Gonzalez. First of all, this dude is 5'2, and the main basis of his joke are about being short. He even asks "Who here is short?!" I raised my hand (5'1) , along with others in the crowd and he proceeds to say "Yeah, you're all women." He then made jokes about being called "Little man" and that especially hit close to home for me because my friends call me Little Short Melissa, iknorite? He was great, and definitely should be more well-known.

After being introduced by a super-cool montage on one of the video screens on the stage (involving Erik Estrada dressed as a cop "Chips" anyone?) Gabriel Iglesias runs on stage, and the crowd went nuts. I could literally hear the fist-pumping in the air. After Gabriel catches his breath (ten minutes later) he starts of with saying that New Jersey's air is different than California's. That we actually have something called, oxygen.

One of my favorite parts of the show was when Gabriel says "This isn't like t.v. I can see you." The show was fantastic, as Gabriel involves the crowd a lot, and even takes requests. At the end of the night, I drove home excited, happy, and fulfilled.

A day well spent.

Hold on.

I am exhausted.

Since this week is the final week before Spring Break, every single one of my teacher decides, "Hey, let's try to cram in as many grades in 5 days!"

My history teacher assigned a page on Brown v. Board of Ed, I thought, oh boy! What an easy way to get my grade up. My English teacher assigned 5 pages on Tinker v. Des Moines. My health teacher asked for two current events, my biology teacher asked for a poster, along with a three page report on a genetic disease, my German teacher provided many a-pop quizzes, my Algebra two teacher provided a quiz every single day of this week, and tomorrow I have a test on everything we've learned this semester. In band I want to do my best since I am the section leader in charge, and by the time I get home, I don't know where to start.

Everyday, I receive many college letters, asking whether I've considered their school yet. Everyday, I am more tired than the last. Everyday, I have more to do.

When I finally do have down time to reflect on my day, and how for some reason, the days blur by me. Did I say hello to my friend who I nod at everyday? Did I eat lunch? Did I remember my book for the Algebra quiz?

No. I didn't.

To make matters worse, my best friend (who is a senior, and twenty times more busy than I am) has no time for me. I miss him.

I am stressed. I am tired. And I just want to sleep.

But I can't. Not for another two days.

I switch teams.

Spring is here.

I am getting excited for this season in spite of myself. I was always a Winter girl. I was always the girl who defended Winter, when everyone else hated her. I loved the snowflakes, I love the cold crisp air, I loved the apparel: gloves, mittens, scarfs, boots, jackets, hats, skullies. I loved the way the bristles of the bushes stuck out, imperfect and dangerous. I loved the way the snow looked when the sun was setting. I loved the way fresh snow sparkled.

But one day, when I was driving with the windows down, and drinking a cool Snapple, something changed. I wanted to immerse myself into the sun, and breeze. I wanted to kick off my shoes, tilt my head, close my eyes, and thank Spring for bringing me beauty.

A comeback.

"Last published August 21, 2009."

That might as well have been many years ago.

Since my abrupt leaving, I've gotten older, I've cut my hair and grown it out again. I've met some of the greatest people I've ever met, and lost a great friend. I've lost a boyfriend, and gained a best friend. I've gotten A's on research papers, projects, and F's pop algebra quizzes. I've laughed, I've cried, I've thought, I've read. I've become stronger emotionally, I've become aware of my faults, I've become aware of my strengths. I've become aware of which people in my life I care most about.

I've come a long way since August 21st 2009.

But I'm still struggling to make decisions that will affect my entire life. Do I? Don't I? Will I? What if? What if? What if?

I've missed writing to no one in particular. Instead of having to write about the Cold War, or Sickle Cell disease, or Freedom of Speech, I get to write about myself, which is exponentially much better. Maybe this will be a way for me to better myself.

We'll see.

Beauty

There's different types of beauty. (TBC)

Time

The world is a continuous place.

Picture yourself in the happiest frame of your life. Mine would be in the middle of winter, Christmas lights twinkling, lighting up the living room. I'd be sipping hot tea, and have my head on his leg, and my free hand holding his. We'd be laughing about something childish.
I would wish to be able to freeze this point in time. I'd wish to make the world stop, and live in this moment forever because everything is perfect. Past fights don't exist. Tears were erased from our memories.
But that doesn't happen because the world is continuous.

If I could gather up contentedness like fine sand on a foreign shore I would put
it in a Ziplock bag and tuck it away in the far corner of a desk drawer for
sometime after the easy joy of today wanes. For another day when I'm feeling
lonely or ugly or scared or stupid. To dig out and take from it a handful to
soak up the tears and the dissatisfaction. I want to capture it and let it free
in increments, one happy lightning bug at a time to return back to its twilit
skies and leave me here on the ground where I'm meant to be.

I wish I could put my memories into a bag and re-visit them when need be. I'm not so sure if time is our friend or my personal enemy.

Movies!

There are a few movies that I HAVE to see. (btw, is it me, or are some really bitchin' movies coming out in 2010?) I'm going to list them here so i don't forget them.

UP
Nick and Nora's Infinite Play list
500 Days of Summer
Knowing
The Timekeeper's Wife
Hardball
Alice in Wonderland
Despicable Me
Toy Story 3
Tron
Where the Wild things Are.
Slum dog Millionaire
2012 (LOL)
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Paper Heart
Wal-E
Moon
Post Grad
Whip it
Maria Full of Grace
(I'll add more later.)

Christmas Dilemma

Most of my mother's side of the family lives in Texas. I haven't seen them for nearly two years. A lot can happen in two years! For example: A wedding we (we being my mom, my step-dad, and I) couldn't go to, a cousin getting her driver's license, making the transition from middle school to high school, making the transition from elementary school to middle school, cousin getting her wisdom teeth taken out. With the distance, comes missing holiday gatherings. We never spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year's together. While the rest of the family is living it up in Texas, we're celebrating quietly here in New Jersey.
We've been getting tired of this, and decided a visit is in order. My mom decided that we were to go to Texas on the 26th of December, but as a surprise. The plan was, when we arrived at the airport we would call them and be like "hey, Merry Christmas. By the way..." A surprise, you know? When my cousin, Karen, came to New York for a R.O.T.C meet, we went to go meet up with her. While together, I told her about the surprise visit to Texas. She was, of course thrilled. (We're the two girls in the family. -___-)
Today, my mom got a call from my aunt, saying "Hey! Guess what?" They were planning on coming to New Jersey for a visit.... for Christmas. She then proceeded to say that she wasn't sure if she'd have that day off of work, and if she didn't she'd just send my little cousin, Brian, to visit since he'd been nagging her "When are we going to Jersey, ma?!" This puts us in a pickle.

Six Flags.

Oh hey, Blog of mine. It's been too long. Recently, I went to Six Flags Great Adventure, with an old friend. Her name is Maria, and I haven't spoken to her since the 7th grade. Why did I invite her, you ask? Well, i'm the type of person who LOVES roller-coasters, but i'm too chicken shit to go on them without some persuasion.

I promptly picked her up at 9:00 a.m. at her house, then we hit the road. I'd forgotten how peaceful highways are, to me. Rolling down your windows, letting the air hit your face, and watching the green trees go by is a really good feeling.

Before even arriving at Six Flags, you could see Kingda Ka, from miles away.

This terrifying monster made my stomach clench, because I knew my friend wanted to go on it. I kept trying to find an excuse to not go on it, without seeming like a baby. When we arrived at the entrance, the sign said "Kingda is Closed today." HECK YES!

The first ride we went on was Batman. The line wait wasn't too long, but by the time I was strapped in, I was scared. As soon as the ride took off, I was pumped!

After Batman was over, I got such a thrill, that I decided to go on Nitro. Now, Nitro, is my favorite ride of all time, but it's a monster. It takes super long to get to the top.

Seriously, I was in the middle of a conversation with the stranger next to me, and it went down. The first drop always makes you feel like you're dying, but after that... it's just one huge party. I kept screaming "HELL YEAH! YEAH! YEAH BITCH!" I'm a college frat boy.

After Nitro, my friend wanted to go on the Bizarro. The new ride at our Six Flags. I was so scared, since I've never been on it, that I wanted to stall. Since it was 80 degrees out, I persuaded her to go on the water ride.

After the water ride, I had no choice but to go on the Bizarro since they were super close. It was a great freakin' ride. Probably my favorite of forever.

Then we ended the day on Superman. The easiest roller coaster ever.

Languages: A History

I don't know how to get into this subject, so pretend there's a clever anecdote here.

The first language I learned was Spanish. My mom is Salvadorian. (dad wasn't around, but he is Mexican) She came to this country when she was 18 (after having my oldest brother. Pablo (23) She knew no English. One would think that my brother's first language would be Spanish as well, but seeing as he's deaf, he never learned Spanish, or English. My first language was Spanish, so when I got to prekindergarten I didn't know how to communicate with other kids. I was a quick learner, I never had to be put into ESL classes.
As the years progressed I became fluent in English, Spanish, and American Sign-language. By the 6th grade I was introduced to Naruto. Naruto is a Japanese anime show that I quickly became obsessed with. So much so, that I went online and started watching the shows in Japanese. The Japanese language interested me. I loved the way the words flowed together. The sounds, the pitches. I loved the language so much, that I started looking into Japanese culture, history, and mannerisms. I'm still obsessed.

When guitar hero III came out, I played the poop out of that game. I played every single song, and came across Radio Song- Superbus. I liked the sound of the band so much that I looked them up, and found out that they do French songs! Guess what language I'm also in love with now? Guess what place I think is beautiful?

Side-note: Earlier I thought my likings for different countries was because America doesn't really have culture, but that's not it.

Wisdom Teeth

Over a week ago I went to the dentist because one of my wisdom teeth was hurting pretty bad. They told me that on thee 7th I'd have to get them taken out.

Yesterday morning I woke up at 8 A.M. (couldn't go back to sleep) For an appointment that was at 10 A.M. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and ATE NOTHING. It sucked not being able to eat especially since my mom was cooking freakin' sasuage and eggs. What the heck mom?

By the time we arrived in the dentist waiting room, all I could think about is food. I was so hungry, that I barley noticed that CNN was on (love CNN!) When the dental assistant came in, she asked me,

"how are you feeling?"

"hungry."

The room to take out my wisdom teeth was really comfortable. They had really weird 80's music on, and a brown blankey that felt baby-soft. While I waited for the head dentist to arrive I had myself extremely comfortable. I took my sandals off, and put thee awesome brown blankey over myself, and head-jammed to the music. I think they turned up the 80's music because I could hear what was going on in the other rooms, and it was freaking my mom out. Then the head dentist came in and said

"Let's get this show on the road!"

The dental assistant put a mask over my nose, (laughing gas) and it gave me the weirdest feeling... I felt like I wasn't there. It was time for my mom to leave the room, and before she left, she squeezed my hand. I could barely feel it. Then after she left, the background 80's music kept skipping. Actually, everyone in the room, all their words sounded like a broken cd. For some reason I found this to be really stinkin' hilarious. And the dental assistant said

"Feel the gas yet? You have a really funny look on your face."

The head dentist gave me something to squeeze and he put the I.V. in. I slowly felt like I was fading out of consciousness, and I was trying to fight it. But next thing I knew I was done, and there was gauze in my mouth.

I was drunk on laughing gas for 1 more hour. That was fun for my mom. She told me I said some really weird crap, and she had to help me walk in and out of the car, because apparently I'm really self-righteous when drunk on laughing gas.

My lip and chin were really numb, and it was thee most uncomfortable feeling I've ever felt. Slowly, at 9:00 the left side of my lip woke up! Then my right side woke up an hour ago!

It doesn't hurt yet, but just wait for that.

Unrequited Love

I hope in later years I'll be able to look at this blog and laugh at my woes. I hope by then my scars have healed, my tears are dry, and I'd be happy.

I'm dealing with things beyond my maturity level. I've felt the bitchin' pain that is teenage heartbreak. I have to get my wisdom teeth taken out on the day Chavy told me he loved me. I have to endure the pain that is stomach surgery on the day that we became a couple.
Post break up Chavy told me it wasn't going to work out anyway. Why would you say that? Today Chavy told me he's going partying. Why would you tell me that? I mean, it's fantastic that this break-up hasn't effected you at all. I'm crumbling, and you're partying. How great.

We barely talk. Today was the first time we've spoken in two days. It upsets me that it's come to this. We used to be great friends, and now we don't even talk. Even as friends, I don't think we'd have the same bond as before. I don't think I'll be able to think of him as a friend. I love him.

I miss him. I miss him so badly. He doesn't even think of me at all. He doesn't miss me.

Tough

Isn't it funny how music touches us? It has the ability to bring you back to a special time, or place. It has the ability to bring back feelings, whether happy or sad.
These past three days haven't been good for me. My relationship with Chavy has always been... different. He lives in the Bronx, I live in suburban New Jersey. Although this might not seem as a great distance, any distance is a great distance. He's a Junior, going on Senior, and I'm a Freshmen going on Sophomore. From the first conversation we had on MSN, I knew he was going to be a huge part of my life. He and I had the same type of humor. We watched the same shows, we just brought out the best in each other. He pushed me to grow intellecutally. He was the only person in my entire life that I KNEW i was lucky to have in my life.
We've been together since he was a Sophomore. I've know him since he was an 8th grader. When we became a couple, we had to make due with what we had. We talked through I.M. everyday, calls here and there. After 1 month of being together, we saw each other from the 22- 26th. Those days, although were incredible, they were way too short.
Our whole relationship was a struggle. We moved at a slow pace. First kiss at 3 months. First hand-holding at 3 months. Cuddling at 3 months.
Because we had such limited time together, we appreciated it, so much more. Our relationship was the strongest bond, I'd ever known. We spent Christmas of '07 together, New Year's of '08 together. Halloween of '07. Whenever we got together, it was as if though we had never left each other. But with each visit, comes an end. Each end got tougher and tougher. I cried for a great portion of them.
The first few months of being together were the best months of my life. Honestly, i've never felt so much love and adoration. It's not something that can be explained. Only people who've felt this know exactly what i mean. We were the cheesiest goobers ever! I'd send him song lyrics that I thought were cute, he'd read poems to me, we'd talk about the future, we had two "kids", we'd spend HOURS on the phone saying things so cheesy that you'd hate cheese.
Months passed, and we were at our 1 year anniversary. We spent it together. I remember he got me shoes that I REALLY wanted. More months passed, and we fought. Normal couples fight. But normal couples can hug each other, or kiss to stop the fight. We didn't have that. After fights we'd have to wait WEEKS to embrace each other. A month ago, he and I had a fight. But it was in person. The conflict was solved so quickly, simply because we could hug, or hold hands.
Shortly thereafter, things got harder. We haven't fought, but the distance is taking a toll on us. Not only the distance, but the fact that he's now going to have a job, and going to work 5 days a week, which leaves... almost no time to talk.
He broke up with me three days ago, for that reason.

What made me document this is, after he broke up with me, I didn't really cry. I felt horrible inside, sure. It's the worst pain, I've ever felt, but I had to be strong. I told myself there's no use in crying. I tried persuading him that this isn't the best solution. We can work anything we want to, if we just try. After a day of trying to get him back, i felt pitiful. No use. Might as well leave him alone.
This morning when I woke up, I felt that same pain I did yesterday. Almost stronger as time passes. I made it the whole day without crying, until things started breaking me down, little by little. I was listening to "Now that I'm grown, I've seen marriages fall to pieces." Down and Out- The Academy Is... That reminded me of Jon & Kate Gosselin. For some reason, their relationship ending, really hurt me. I didn't express my pain to anyone. I guess the reason that it hurt me, is I saw love fall apart before my very eyes. I saw their failure from the beginning. I saw Kate crying because she couldn't do anything to save their marriage. Regardless of her personality, I believe that she really wanted to save it.
I went on myspace and listen to the Jackson 5. Their song "Never Can Say Goodbye" made me cry. "Even though the pain and heartache, seems to follow me wherever I go. Though I try and try to hide my feelings, they always seem to show. Then you try to say you're leaving me, and I always have to say no... I keep thinkin that our problems, soon are all gonna work out. But there's that same unhappy feeling and there's that anguish, there's that doubt. It's the same old did ya hang up? Can't do with you or without." This song perfectly describes how i feel.
I just wish this whole hurt point of my life is over. Can't it just get back to happy? This time, two years ago, was the happiest I'd ever been. Because of him. Two years later, this is the saddest/most depressed I've ever been. Because of him. You know what makes it hurt more? The loneliness. I'm so used to texting all day, or talking all day, that now when we don't have that anymore, i don't know what to do. Most of my friends are on vacation. I've never been the type of person who likes to talk to people first. You know what i mean? I don't like to invite people places, or start up conversations, I like people inviting me, or talking to me. My state of depression hasn't really helped my "not wanting to talk to people first" thing. Which, in hindsight isn't good. This is a time where I really need people to cheer me up, and yet I make no effort in speaking to them.

I used to think that the girls that got so dramatically upset over a break-up were wussies. Well, didn't that thought bite me in the ass? It's not like I'm crying and there's mascara covered tissues all over my bed. It's not like I'm watching romantic-comedys while eating ice cream. I'm just hurting on the inside. I'm just not talking to anyone. But I really want to.

Gads! This blog is so depressing. I'm sorry. I just need some serious cheering up.

Michael Jackson

Yesterday, June 25th 2009, Michael Jackson passed away.

The reasons of his death are as of now, unclear. The media says it was the drugs, but until his direct family confirms it, I'm taking it as unclear.

When I first heard of his death, I didn't believe it. Michael... Jackson... is dead? No way.
This morning when I woke up, I flipped on CNN, and started watching the debates. Was it the drugs? Did he really have heart problems? Where the heck is his doctor?
My family and I spent hours, and hours watching CNN. As time went on, I started getting angry. How is it that after someone dies, all the dirt comes out of the woodwork? I mean, seriously. Respect the dead. Respect their families.
CNN proceeded to show all the love and support of the fans. They showed people crying their eyes out, people that flew hours to go to see his star in hollywood, or his old home in Indiana. Dedicated fans.


Michael, you changed the world. Artists of today still look up to you! Madonna, Diana Ross, Usher, Justin Timberlake, and Mariah Carey are all heartbroken.
My heart goes out to your family, and your close friends.
Your music, your style, your voice was captivating. Today, millions of people's hearts broke when they heard the news. Today, millions of tears were wept across the world. You changed so many people's lives. People grew up listening to your music. I rememeber when I was little, I used to watch the video for Thriller everyday, even though it scared me. My cousin recorded one of your concerts, and I watched that video everyday. When I lost it, I cried.

Michael, people still loved you after your scandals in the media. I am one of those people.

After your death, no one wants to remember the bad things about you. It's almost as if death erases your fights with your appearance, or your struggles in court. Michael, honestly, I can't relate to the type of lifestyle you had. I can't imagine how hard your childhood was. I can't imagine the sadness you must've felt when you had to sing in the recording studio as opposed to playing with people your age. You've endured so many hardships, so many fights with the media. I will always remember you as sweet Michael from the Jackson five.

I hope you're at peace now.

I'll finish this L8TR I'm TIRED

Okay, I know I've posted two, well now, THREE blogs today. But man! Today's been a big day. So many things have happened. Break from exams, yelling teachers, and students who... aren't... smart?

I went online, caught up with all my YouTube subcriptions, and in one video, there was a BIG FAT PANDA. http://www.squishable.com/

Fences

Four gated walls seclude you.
Closed off from the world,
solitude.

Even bristles of iron, can't hide you forever.
Why have you done so?
It'll end in failure.

It'll end in rust.