Picture yourself in the happiest frame of your life. Mine would be in the middle of winter, Christmas lights twinkling, lighting up the living room. I'd be sipping hot tea, and have my head on his leg, and my free hand holding his. We'd be laughing about something childish.
I would wish to be able to freeze this point in time. I'd wish to make the world stop, and live in this moment forever because everything is perfect. Past fights don't exist. Tears were erased from our memories.
But that doesn't happen because the world is continuous.
If I could gather up contentedness like fine sand on a foreign shore I would put
it in a Ziplock bag and tuck it away in the far corner of a desk drawer for
sometime after the easy joy of today wanes. For another day when I'm feeling
lonely or ugly or scared or stupid. To dig out and take from it a handful to
soak up the tears and the dissatisfaction. I want to capture it and let it free
in increments, one happy lightning bug at a time to return back to its twilit
skies and leave me here on the ground where I'm meant to be.
I wish I could put my memories into a bag and re-visit them when need be. I'm not so sure if time is our friend or my personal enemy.
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